The Story

This is story is a series of fictional events about a north Indian guy and his south Indian journey. My aim here is to entertain you by narrating some interesting and hilarious incidents.

I have no intentions of making racial remarks or hurting anyone, if I may do so accidentally then I apologies.

P.S - Movie makers will be prosecuted if they make movie on this story without my permission :D

Note:- I have not read Chetan Bhagat's 2 States, mind it.

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Monday, January 9, 2012

Chapter 32: And we lived happily ever after


I stopped Deeps and dragged her back from the fence.

“What’s the matter with you ?”, I asked in anger

“I just can’t stay here like this anymore”, she enlightened me while climbing the wall again

“What do you mean anymore ? From how many years have you been living like this ?”, I still held her, she wasn’t able to climb the wall but she was trying hard

“Look it’s tough for me to adjust instantaneously, I know only one person in this house and that’s you”, she began to weep

“Look don’t cry, its only today and that too only few more hours and after that I will never let you go”, I consoled her

“What is the guarantee that this will not happen tomorrow ?”

“What guarantee ? Am I selling you a mixer grinder ?”

This pissed her off even more and she tried to climb the wall again but I again dragged her back

“Have faith in me that I will not let this happen again, do you trust me ?”, I asked

“I do”

“Great, then go back in there, have a sound sleep and we will see each other again in the morning and don’t worry things will be all alright”, I winked at her

She began to walk back inside the house miserably while I watched her just in case if she tries to break out again. I could realize her situation; it would be inflexible for anyone to all of a sudden get into a entirely new realm. But this time she behaved like a grown-up and went straight to my mother’s room with an assurance that she will not try to escape again.

Morning I woke up and guess what was the first thing I looked out for ? Yes, she was happily snoozing while it was still breaking dawn. After a while it was time to get ready and say goodbyes to each and every relative in the house one after another. Since it was first day after the wedding; people kept coming to visit us and gift the bride in exchange to see her face. It is undeniably a very good and affluent ritual for brides because people would keep coming to acknowledge both but would gift only the bride!! What wrong have we (bridegrooms) done ?

Muh Dikhai ritual is only for the bride by the groom's family. Relatives and friends shower gifts and cash to the new bride as blessings.

In middle of all this Deeps parents and all the family members visited us to see if Deeps is doing well. Deeps took advantage of the language barrier and described her mom about the last night episode. Till now I just heard that listening to something grave one’s face turns white, today was the time to witness that. Hitler’s face turned pale and white like a ghost after paying attention to what her daughter would have done on first day. She was shocked and started explaining Deeps what she must do and what she should not even think of doing. After an affirmative response from Deeps; Natrajan kin left to go around the city. Natrajans had planned one extra day for city excursion and leave Jaipur by evening flight.

By evening we were totally dog-tired by the amount of guests and the lack of sleep from the previous night. Finally all the people remaining in the house were gone and we were left with parents and few cousins. The next item in the list was to see Deeps kin off to the airport. Me, Deeps and Mr. Kapoor reached at the house where all of them were residing until now. Everyone was packed and all set to leave except Mo2. I did not know much about him but I knew this much that he is the laziest friend Deeps have got. So he was the only person still packing and what it seemed to me that Mr. Natrajan wanted to leave to the airport as early as possible to avoid disarray; understandably because he has seen the rush-hour traffic in Bangalore. There were 2 taxis for 10 people, 5 each but since Mo2 wasn’t on schedule and Mr. Natrajan had already pressed his panic button twice; we let the 2 taxis leave, leaving Mo2 behind. 3 of us anyways were going to the airport to see them off and hence Mo2 can piggyback with us.

The flight was at 7 pm and the 2 taxis left at around 5 pm. The journey to the airport was around 15 minutes so it was fine to even start a little late but since Bangalore is absolutely opposite Mr. Natrajan took a call and left precisely 2 hours prior to the flight schedule. But we 3 were still waiting on Mo2 who got ready only by 6 pm. By Jaipur standards it wasn’t still late but bearing in mind the whole procedure inside; we might make it just in time. We started immediately to the airport, we were just 5 minutes away from the airport and Mo2 got a call from Malyali who was already at the airport and was anxious about Mo2’s arrival,

“Where are you”, asked Malyali

“I am at home, still packing”, Mo2 said

“Whaaaatttttt, are you crazy old Potato !!!”, Malyali yelled on him

“Relax dude, it will take just 30 more minutes for us to reach there”, Mo2 was having fun with Malyali

“Forget it, you will miss the flight”, Malyali was utterly infuriated

“Hey please don’t go without me, hold the flight till I reach”, Mo2 giggled

Well Malyali did not say anything and hung up on Mo2 in repugnance. All of us had a good 5 minute laugh on the ridicule of the situation. We arrived well inside time to the airport. Deeps met her parents one more time before saying goodbye.

We got back to the house and by now we were only house members left. After dinner it was time to doze off but we were asked to wait as my brother and cousins were busy in decorating the room for both of us. After sometime when we were permitted inside we were awestruck. They had put each and every ounce of strength to transform that room into a gorgeous view.

They pushed both of us inside before bolting the door. I looked at Deeps and asked,

“Is it ok now ? Or do you still want to run away ? You can’t even if you want to because the door is locked”, I grinned

“I am perfectly fine”

I was thrilled to hear that and hopped onto the bed in delight but the moment I landed on the bed, the room was filled with crushing sounds and chortles from outside the room.

Something’s fishy !!!

Deeps was terrified to hear all the sound but we realized instantly that it’s a mischief done by my cousins because as soon as we raised the bed sheet; we found 10-15 papdas (Poppadum) lying there. I should have predicted that there will be some malice action that’s going to happen.

Well the married life began little bumpy but let’s hope that it becomes smoother by time.



Thanks for reading When South Met North. I thank all for being with me for the whole time while I was writing this. Special Thanks to my wife Princess who permitted me to compose this. Thanks for all encouragement Thumbs up, appreciation Party smile and criticism Nyah-Nyah from all the readers of “When South Met North”. I will certainly miss writing it Sad smile and will unquestionably miss all the candid remarks Vampire bat by you all.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Chapter 31: The wedding Part 2

Kapoors took an early morning flight from Bangalore and reached back to Jaipur at around early afternoon. Since there were no 10 tickets available in the same flight; we came separately in pack of 5s. I was with Akbar, Jodhabai and Hamida Banu Begam. At the airport we were received by Akbar’s brother Hakim. While we were on our way back to our respective houses; Hamida Begum chose to give a transitory overview about the complete wedding at Bangalore to Hakim. Hamida Begum started with an amplified explanation on how Hakim’s brother and sister-in-law were the only charismatic people at Bangalore. They mesmerized all Natrajans with their English and all Natrajan kin desired to talk just to both of them. Well whatever she was telling wasn’t entirely a tall tale but the way it was portrayed wasn’t even 20% truthful. But since Hakim was never there; he had to trust his mother but what about me!!! I was sitting right next to Hamida Begum and it never occurred to her that I might know the veracity of the incident!! Well the exaggeration went on for some more time till they dropped me off to my place where my parents were already waiting for me.

Natrajans were expected to arrive in 2 days and again it was more or less 10 of them who were anticipated to show up at the wedding. It was virtually the same circumstances as Bangalore with only modification that both parties now have changed the courts. Finally Natrajans came down to Jaipur and they were received in a same manner they welcomed Kapoors but the variance this time was that the garlands were not Hawaiian. Natrajans were accommodated in a bungalow Kapoors leased out only for Natrajans. All arrangements from condiments, a cook till a car with a driver were done beforehand. Few of Deeps office friends also accompanied Natrajans; representing the girl’s side.

North Indian weddings are more of fun and entertainment rather a complete indulgence into rituals. The first key event that occurs 1-2 days prior to wedding is “Sangeet”. Traditionally ladies are the only people to take part in this occasion. During this event ladies sing and dance on traditional Indian songs, and joke around with guests. But times are shifting and every men and women who are close to the bride and groom play a part. Kapoors went a step further and appointed a choreographer for the same. All my cousins shaped a theme which described my birth, childhood, teenage and adult life in sequence of songs from Hindi movies. All male cousins were portraying me on stage and female cousins were playing Deeps. The first song introduced Mr. and Mrs. Kapoor describing they falling in love and for clear reasons this piece was commended the most. All my cousins and brother did a freakishly remarkable job to pull off something like this. There were like zillion songs which concluded the whole story and each individual performed in no less than 6-7 songs!!! It was implausible to picture the amount of effort everyone had put in to make this event extraordinary. The merrymaking concluded with the open dance floor where both Natrajans and Kapoors shared the dance steps on selected groovy tunes.

At last the 2nd judgment day arrived where me and Deeps would get married for the second time and after this I can talk to her anywhere and anytime without Hitler’s authorization. The bash began from my house. Kapoors formed a crowd and marched towards the wedding venue as a Baraat.

Baraat is a bridegroom's wedding procession with Band, dancers and fireworks. It is customary for the bridegroom to travel to the wedding venue on a mare, accompanied by his family members who are actually the dancers. The groom and his horse are covered in finery and do not usually take part in the dancing. The baraat, headed by a display of fireworks and accompanied by the rhythm of the dhol, reaches the meeting point, where the elders of both the families meet.

We reached at the wedding spot where we were received by Natrajans who were told in advance what to do as their fragment in the ceremonial. I was taken to the wedding room where 2 imperial chairs were placed for wife and husband-to-be. I seated down and shortly Deeps arrived in red wedding dress. The rest of the evening people kept coming to pass on good wishes to us. Deeps wasn’t accustomed with the procedure that the pair must fall to the feet of each elder to get the blessings.

At least to offer blessings no one was throwing food around in here Rolling on the floor laughing

After attending roughly to 45-50 guests Deeps succumbed to the tradition and told me that if she will bend next time then she might not come back. I could understand her agony because my spine was also aching but I had to help her out. I told her that next time when you kneel down to touch someone’s feet; as soon as you come back up pretend as you are about to faint with an eye rolling expression, one hand on forehead and start falling on me. 2 minutes later one family came to acknowledge us and as it was expected Deeps overdramatized the act and instead of falling on me she fell on to the couch; falling on me would have raised some anxieties but this made them horrified. Quickly people poured in from each direction, someone came up with water, someone with food and every single lady was on the bride. Deeps rapidly understood what she did and opened her eyes while still pretending to be sick. Everybody dispersed and my mother did not let Deeps to get up from the seat anymore. When my mother was gone after sometime; she looked at me and asked “How was the acting ?” to which I said, “It was an Oscar winning performance but if you had hammed it up a little further than we would have seen doctors and ambulance too”.

At around 11 pm practically all the guests were gone and we still had to hang around for another 1.25 hours before any wedding ceremonial could start. This is the solitary major difference in a South Indian and a North Indian wedding that a south Indian wedding would take place in the morning and a north Indian wedding at around midnight. We were having fun while chatting and the time flew away like a cold breeze. We were asked to be seated for wedding ceremony on our respective spaces and Pundit began to recite the mantras.

We were about 15-20 minutes into the ritual when I observed that all my relatives are wide-awake and conscious while almost all Deep’s relative had already surrendered to the midnight and the heavy delicious food they had few hours ago. 75% of Deep’s kin was snoozing while we were getting married and remaining were also not far away including Deeps. After 10 minutes I watched diligently and noticed that Deeps has already been dragged into an incredible world of sleep.

How can she do that!!! She is sitting and sleeping in her own wedding !!

I looked around but nobody had noted it yet, so I adjusted my spot a bit and gave Deeps a slight shudder, it worked, she opened her eyes and looked at me, she gave me a smile and dozed again. I jolted her again and reminded her that it’s our wedding and we are not audience but the participants. She then comprehended the gravity of the situation and managed to keep herself conscious till the end. The ceremony got over shortly and we were married for the 2nd time. Deeps now was my complete spouse. Kapoors began their way back to home with an additional family member. Deep’s parents and relatives wished her for a great life, they tried to be resilient but Deeps and Hitler could not hold back and burst into a loud cry. It was impossible for a mother to let her loving daughter go but this had to happen sometime. After few minutes it was the time of realization for both of them to let all go. Both of us sat in the decorated car and Hakim drove us back to my place where some more relatives were waiting for us for yet another ritual at the 1 am in the night. It took another 30 minutes to get over the formality and it was time to sleep, after all running around it was time to go astray in loving arms of sweet and comfortable bed. We were waiting for all guests to leave and instructions from my mom, she came and said,

“You sleep in this drawing room and Deeps will come and sleep with me”, my mom said

“But why?” I asked

“Because there are still some people in the house who will go only by tomorrow” and she walked away

Deeps and I looked at each other in incredulity, “You are going to spend your first night with my mom!!!”

She did not appreciate my wittiness and looked very uncomfortable, terrified and totally freaked out, we were not ready for this, we were caught totally off-guard. I cheered her by telling that this perhaps is the last thing you have to do for me. She understood that there is no other alternative and went to sleep with my mom. I also slept in the drawing room with an amalgamation of various frequencies of snorts coming out of each direction from each guest.

May be 1-2 hours later

Ankit, Ankit, Ankit ……. Am I dreaming!!! Ankit wake up …… its Deeps

I woke up in a sudden shock and saw Deeps standing right on my head.

“What is it and what time is it?” I asked while try to look around and try to understand the situation, it was still dark and people in my house were still singing the snore song.

“Ankit, I can’t sleep with your mom, I am going to my parents place, Bye”, and she started to run away

“What … wh …. Wait….. ”, it took me a zillionth of a second to come back to complete consciousness and jump out of the bed. I ran after the runaway bride.

Is she taking vengeance from me for what I did in Kashi Yatra ?


Deeps was by now out of the house was trying to climb the wall to get away. When I saw the sight of it I was sure that this is certainly not what I anticipated my first night to be.