Chapter 32: And we lived happily ever after

 

I stopped Deeps and dragged her back from the fence.

“What’s the matter with you ?”, I asked in anger

“I just can’t stay here like this anymore”, she enlightened me while climbing the wall again

“What do you mean anymore ? From how many years have you been living like this ?”, I still held her, she wasn’t able to climb the wall but she was trying hard

“Look it’s tough for me to adjust instantaneously, I know only one person in this house and that’s you”, she began to weep

“Look don’t cry, its only today and that too only few more hours and after that I will never let you go”, I consoled her

“What is the guarantee that this will not happen tomorrow ?”

“What guarantee ? Am I selling you a mixer grinder ?”

This pissed her off even more and she tried to climb the wall again but I again dragged her back

“Have faith in me that I will not let this happen again, do you trust me ?”, I asked

“I do”

“Great, then go back in there, have a sound sleep and we will see each other again in the morning and don’t worry things will be all alright”, I winked at her

She began to walk back inside the house miserably while I watched her just in case if she tries to break out again. I could realize her situation; it would be inflexible for anyone to all of a sudden get into a entirely new realm. But this time she behaved like a grown-up and went straight to my mother’s room with an assurance that she will not try to escape again.

Morning I woke up and guess what was the first thing I looked out for ? Yes, she was happily snoozing while it was still breaking dawn. After a while it was time to get ready and say goodbyes to each and every relative in the house one after another. Since it was first day after the wedding; people kept coming to visit us and gift the bride in exchange to see her face. It is undeniably a very good and affluent ritual for brides because people would keep coming to acknowledge both but would gift only the bride!! What wrong have we (bridegrooms) done ?

Muh Dikhai ritual is only for the bride by the groom's family. Relatives and friends shower gifts and cash to the new bride as blessings.

In middle of all this Deeps parents and all the family members visited us to see if Deeps is doing well. Deeps took advantage of the language barrier and described her mom about the last night episode. Till now I just heard that listening to something grave one’s face turns white, today was the time to witness that. Hitler’s face turned pale and white like a ghost after paying attention to what her daughter would have done on first day. She was shocked and started explaining Deeps what she must do and what she should not even think of doing. After an affirmative response from Deeps; Natrajan kin left to go around the city. Natrajans had planned one extra day for city excursion and leave Jaipur by evening flight.

By evening we were totally dog-tired by the amount of guests and the lack of sleep from the previous night. Finally all the people remaining in the house were gone and we were left with parents and few cousins. The next item in the list was to see Deeps kin off to the airport. Me, Deeps and Mr. Kapoor reached at the house where all of them were residing until now. Everyone was packed and all set to leave except Mo2. I did not know much about him but I knew this much that he is the laziest friend Deeps have got. So he was the only person still packing and what it seemed to me that Mr. Natrajan wanted to leave to the airport as early as possible to avoid disarray; understandably because he has seen the rush-hour traffic in Bangalore. There were 2 taxis for 10 people, 5 each but since Mo2 wasn’t on schedule and Mr. Natrajan had already pressed his panic button twice; we let the 2 taxis leave, leaving Mo2 behind. 3 of us anyways were going to the airport to see them off and hence Mo2 can piggyback with us.

The flight was at 7 pm and the 2 taxis left at around 5 pm. The journey to the airport was around 15 minutes so it was fine to even start a little late but since Bangalore is absolutely opposite Mr. Natrajan took a call and left precisely 2 hours prior to the flight schedule. But we 3 were still waiting on Mo2 who got ready only by 6 pm. By Jaipur standards it wasn’t still late but bearing in mind the whole procedure inside; we might make it just in time. We started immediately to the airport, we were just 5 minutes away from the airport and Mo2 got a call from Malyali who was already at the airport and was anxious about Mo2’s arrival,

“Where are you”, asked Malyali

“I am at home, still packing”, Mo2 said

“Whaaaatttttt, are you crazy old Potato !!!”, Malyali yelled on him

“Relax dude, it will take just 30 more minutes for us to reach there”, Mo2 was having fun with Malyali

“Forget it, you will miss the flight”, Malyali was utterly infuriated

“Hey please don’t go without me, hold the flight till I reach”, Mo2 giggled

Well Malyali did not say anything and hung up on Mo2 in repugnance. All of us had a good 5 minute laugh on the ridicule of the situation. We arrived well inside time to the airport. Deeps met her parents one more time before saying goodbye.

We got back to the house and by now we were only house members left. After dinner it was time to doze off but we were asked to wait as my brother and cousins were busy in decorating the room for both of us. After sometime when we were permitted inside we were awestruck. They had put each and every ounce of strength to transform that room into a gorgeous view.

They pushed both of us inside before bolting the door. I looked at Deeps and asked,

“Is it ok now ? Or do you still want to run away ? You can’t even if you want to because the door is locked”, I grinned

“I am perfectly fine”

I was thrilled to hear that and hopped onto the bed in delight but the moment I landed on the bed, the room was filled with crushing sounds and chortles from outside the room.

Something’s fishy !!!

Deeps was terrified to hear all the sound but we realized instantly that it’s a mischief done by my cousins because as soon as we raised the bed sheet; we found 10-15 papdas (Poppadum) lying there. I should have predicted that there will be some malice action that’s going to happen.

Well the married life began little bumpy but let’s hope that it becomes smoother by time.

 

Thanks for reading When South Met North. I thank all for being with me for the whole time while I was writing this. Special Thanks to my wife who permitted me to compose this. Thanks for all encouragement , appreciation and criticism from all the readers of “When South Met North”. I will certainly miss writing it and will unquestionably miss all the candid remarks by you all.

Chapter 31: The wedding Part 2

Kapoors took an early morning flight from Bangalore and reached back to Jaipur at around early afternoon. Since there were no 10 tickets available in the same flight; we came separately in pack of 5s. I was with Akbar, Jodhabai and Hamida Banu Begam. At the airport we were received by Akbar’s brother Hakim. While we were on our way back to our respective houses; Hamida Begum chose to give a transitory overview about the complete wedding at Bangalore to Hakim. Hamida Begum started with an amplified explanation on how Hakim’s brother and sister-in-law were the only charismatic people at Bangalore. They mesmerized all Natrajans with their English and all Natrajan kin desired to talk just to both of them. Well whatever she was telling wasn’t entirely a tall tale but the way it was portrayed wasn’t even 20% truthful. But since Hakim was never there; he had to trust his mother but what about me!!! I was sitting right next to Hamida Begum and it never occurred to her that I might know the veracity of the incident!! Well the exaggeration went on for some more time till they dropped me off to my place where my parents were already waiting for me.

Natrajans were expected to arrive in 2 days and again it was more or less 10 of them who were anticipated to show up at the wedding. It was virtually the same circumstances as Bangalore with only modification that both parties now have changed the courts. Finally Natrajans came down to Jaipur and they were received in a same manner they welcomed Kapoors but the variance this time was that the garlands were not Hawaiian. Natrajans were accommodated in a bungalow Kapoors leased out only for Natrajans. All arrangements from condiments, a cook till a car with a driver were done beforehand. Few of Deeps office friends also accompanied Natrajans; representing the girl’s side.

North Indian weddings are more of fun and entertainment rather a complete indulgence into rituals. The first key event that occurs 1-2 days prior to wedding is “Sangeet”. Traditionally ladies are the only people to take part in this occasion. During this event ladies sing and dance on traditional Indian songs, and joke around with guests. But times are shifting and every men and women who are close to the bride and groom play a part. Kapoors went a step further and appointed a choreographer for the same. All my cousins shaped a theme which described my birth, childhood, teenage and adult life in sequence of songs from Hindi movies. All male cousins were portraying me on stage and female cousins were playing Deeps. The first song introduced Mr. and Mrs. Kapoor describing they falling in love and for clear reasons this piece was commended the most. All my cousins and brother did a freakishly remarkable job to pull off something like this. There were like zillion songs which concluded the whole story and each individual performed in no less than 6-7 songs!!! It was implausible to picture the amount of effort everyone had put in to make this event extraordinary. The merrymaking concluded with the open dance floor where both Natrajans and Kapoors shared the dance steps on selected groovy tunes.

At last the 2^nd judgment day arrived where me and Deeps would get married for the second time and after this I can talk to her anywhere and anytime without Hitler’s authorization. The bash began from my house. Kapoors formed a crowd and marched towards the wedding venue as a Baraat.

Baraat is a bridegroom's wedding procession with Band, dancers and fireworks. It is customary for the bridegroom to travel to the wedding venue on a mare, accompanied by his family members who are actually the dancers. The groom and his horse are covered in finery and do not usually take part in the dancing. The baraat, headed by a display of fireworks and accompanied by the rhythm of the dhol, reaches the meeting point, where the elders of both the families meet.

We reached at the wedding spot where we were received by Natrajans who were told in advance what to do as their fragment in the ceremonial. I was taken to the wedding room where 2 imperial chairs were placed for wife and husband-to-be. I seated down and shortly Deeps arrived in red wedding dress. The rest of the evening people kept coming to pass on good wishes to us. Deeps wasn’t accustomed with the procedure that the pair must fall to the feet of each elder to get the blessings.

At least to offer blessings no one was throwing food around in here

After attending roughly to 45-50 guests Deeps succumbed to the tradition and told me that if she will bend next time then she might not come back. I could understand her agony because my spine was also aching but I had to help her out. I told her that next time when you kneel down to touch someone’s feet; as soon as you come back up pretend as you are about to faint with an eye rolling expression, one hand on forehead and start falling on me. 2 minutes later one family came to acknowledge us and as it was expected Deeps overdramatized the act and instead of falling on me she fell on to the couch; falling on me would have raised some anxieties but this made them horrified. Quickly people poured in from each direction, someone came up with water, someone with food and every single lady was on the bride. Deeps rapidly understood what she did and opened her eyes while still pretending to be sick. Everybody dispersed and my mother did not let Deeps to get up from the seat anymore. When my mother was gone after sometime; she looked at me and asked “How was the acting ?” to which I said, “It was an Oscar winning performance but if you had hammed it up a little further than we would have seen doctors and ambulance too”.

At around 11 pm practically all the guests were gone and we still had to hang around for another 1.25 hours before any wedding ceremonial could start. This is the solitary major difference in a South Indian and a North Indian wedding that a south Indian wedding would take place in the morning and a north Indian wedding at around midnight. We were having fun while chatting and the time flew away like a cold breeze. We were asked to be seated for wedding ceremony on our respective spaces and Pundit began to recite the mantras.

We were about 15-20 minutes into the ritual when I observed that all my relatives are wide-awake and conscious while almost all Deep’s relative had already surrendered to the midnight and the heavy delicious food they had few hours ago. 75% of Deep’s kin was snoozing while we were getting married and remaining were also not far away including Deeps. After 10 minutes I watched diligently and noticed that Deeps has already been dragged into an incredible world of sleep.

How can she do that!!! She is sitting and sleeping in her own wedding !!

I looked around but nobody had noted it yet, so I adjusted my spot a bit and gave Deeps a slight shudder, it worked, she opened her eyes and looked at me, she gave me a smile and dozed again. I jolted her again and reminded her that it’s our wedding and we are not audience but the participants. She then comprehended the gravity of the situation and managed to keep herself conscious till the end. The ceremony got over shortly and we were married for the 2^nd time. Deeps now was my complete spouse. Kapoors began their way back to home with an additional family member. Deep’s parents and relatives wished her for a great life, they tried to be resilient but Deeps and Hitler could not hold back and burst into a loud cry. It was impossible for a mother to let her loving daughter go but this had to happen sometime. After few minutes it was the time of realization for both of them to let all go. Both of us sat in the decorated car and Hakim drove us back to my place where some more relatives were waiting for us for yet another ritual at the 1 am in the night. It took another 30 minutes to get over the formality and it was time to sleep, after all running around it was time to go astray in loving arms of sweet and comfortable bed. We were waiting for all guests to leave and instructions from my mom, she came and said,

“You sleep in this drawing room and Deeps will come and sleep with me”, my mom said

“But why?” I asked

“Because there are still some people in the house who will go only by tomorrow” and she walked away

Deeps and I looked at each other in incredulity, “You are going to spend your first night with my mom!!!”

She did not appreciate my wittiness and looked very uncomfortable, terrified and totally freaked out, we were not ready for this, we were caught totally off-guard. I cheered her by telling that this perhaps is the last thing you have to do for me. She understood that there is no other alternative and went to sleep with my mom. I also slept in the drawing room with an amalgamation of various frequencies of snorts coming out of each direction from each guest.

May be 1-2 hours later

Ankit, Ankit, Ankit ……. Am I dreaming!!! Ankit wake up …… its Deeps

I woke up in a sudden shock and saw Deeps standing right on my head.

“What is it and what time is it?” I asked while try to look around and try to understand the situation, it was still dark and people in my house were still singing the snore song.

“Ankit, I can’t sleep with your mom, I am going to my parents place, Bye”, and she started to run away

“What … wh …. Wait….. ”, it took me a zillionth of a second to come back to complete consciousness and jump out of the bed. I ran after the runaway bride.

Is she taking vengeance from me for what I did in Kashi Yatra ?

Deeps was by now out of the house was trying to climb the wall to get away. When I saw the sight of it I was sure that this is certainly not what I anticipated my first night to be.

Chapter 30 – The Bangalore Wedding

The stage was set and everyone was excited for the ultimate day of first of the two weddings. My folks; 10 of them landed in Bangalore to show up for the wedding ceremony. They were only 10 because Kapoors just wanted to display their presence at the Bangalore bridal because according to them the actual wedding would take place in Jaipur . So just for sake of courtesy few of my uncle, aunts and cousins made it to the 1^st marriage ceremony.

Natrajans sent few of their kinsfolks to welcome Kapoors at the airport. Kapoors were received with garland and music band, precisely how they show in the movies. But to me it looked fusion of 2 poles apart ethnicities because, one the composition played by the band resembled more of a traditional south Indian wedding day melody and 2^nd the garlands were so small that it looked like that Kapoors have arrived to Hawaii.

Natrajans had sent 3 cars to pick all them up. Kapoors soon after a theatrical welcome began their voyage to the centre of the Bangalore. Most of the Kapoors were visiting the Bangalore for the first time and did not know the magnitude of the difference in road travel between Jaipur and Bangalore. People who have experienced journey to the old Airport in Bangalore would appreciate the following piece of writing. The three wagons started at around 7 pm in the evening en route for a plain 15 km distance. It took round about 2.5 hrs to cover that distance. Now by the time we were half way through after roughly 1.5 hrs; all Kapoors including Mr. Kapoor were so aggravated that they practically decided to walk down the remaining trip on which Mr. Natrajan clarified that even if they walk; the car and the stroller would reach at the same time which helped Mr. Kapoor and others to change their mind in a jiffy. After an hour of snail paced journey all of us finally made it to the wedding hall where all of us were given rooms to stay all the way through the wedding period.

The next morning was the wedding day which opened with the breakfast. Since I had an evil experience with the food last time; I took additional measures to alter the menu into an amalgamation of pakodas and Idlis. Not very surprisingly only 1 Idli was consumed in 10 Kapoors. I was having the breakfast with complete indulgence when I saw that all Kapoors were standing close to the hand wash zone and debating on something very grim. When I investigated then I learned that one of my cousins “Akbar” was even bigger menace then my father in food and he was just sickened by the food which was served.

What else he expected ?

The wedding began by getting me prepared in Dhoti and a wraparound for my upper body but due to my muscular body --->

I shillyshallied a bit and I was permitted to wear the vest.

The entire observance was just about mantras and shlokas. One after the other there was a bombardment of rice from different angles from the countless people who were witnessing the carnage of yet another couple. It’s customary to hurl a small amount of rice on the couple which is getting married after a specific word from the Priest/Scholar/Pundit as a blessing. It was only then I comprehended that a lot of people weren’t very cheerful with this wedding of south and north because no less than 3-4 times someone almost poked my eye out with some extreme shots of rice right into my eyes. It took me just those many times to recognize that the safe word is “Swaha”; so whenever the Pundit says “Swaha”; shut your eyes . People tried to hurt me again and I encountered the assault fearlessly.

2 of the 3 Kapoors of one family got along very well with Natrajans because of their talent to communicate in English; apparently not many people can do that; Akbar, Jodha Bai (Akbar’s wife) and Hamida Banu Begam (Akbar’s Mother). Throughout the wedding Akbar and Jodha Bai were the only 2 people who frequently had dialogues with almost all Natrajans otherwise the wedding felt just like a movie theatre where people watch the same show but don’t talk to each other.

The next ritual was the Kashi Yatra, Kashi yatra is the ceremonial where the groom pretends to leave for Kashi, a pilgrimage center to devote himself to God. He carries a walking stick and other meager essentials with him to imply that he is not interested in becoming a householder. The girl's father intervenes and requests him to accept his daughter as his life partner. He exhorts him to fulfill his responsibilities as a householder and thus follow what is written in the scriptures. The groom relents and returns to the pandal where he is received by the bride.

When I came to know about it; a impish plot began to cultivate in my head and I planned to make Natrajans run for their money but I guess Mr. Natrajan understood me too well and held my hand so tight that it turned into a red hand in few seconds but I just knew the instant where the pundit would ask me to go to the pilgrimage. The moment came; as soon as Pundit asked me to leave I shuddered which got me my hand on the loose from Mr. Natrajan’s clutch. As soon as I become conscious that I am free; I sprinted towards the pilgrimage, I just never looked back, I ran and ran till all the roaring and chaos faded away. I stopped and I looked around; the flora and fauna around me went stand still, everyone was looking at me because they had never seen a south Indian groom like this,

running loose like this before. I looked back; 2 of Deeps cousin were galloping towards me and a much acquainted black car of Natrajans pulled over next to me. I sat in the car next to Mr. Natrajan and asked him “Will you again send me to pilgrimage” and I giggled but I guess he almost had a heart attack and did not appreciate the mockery of the event. We came back and I encountered lots and lots of red and yellow faces but later everyone chuckled on what I gave them; I am sure that they have and will never get to witness something like this in their entire lifespan.

The wedding ceremony was completed, we shared the rings, I tied mangalsutra to the bride and we were finished, I mean we were married . People came and passed on good wishes to us and after some more continuing sacraments we were taken to an inside room for lunch along with all close family members of Kapoors and Natrajans. Since the food was not the same for both the families I predicted no complications but how can wedding survive without a toxic snag. One of the Natrajan was speaking to Deeps in Kannada while we were seated down; eavesdropping to which I was broken-hearted because I knew that my kin will not like it. Apparently the cook has misplaced the chapatis that were particularly brought for Kapoors and now they are left with just 8 chapatis and we were 11 counting me in addition. Seeing the sensitivity of the situation Hitler came up with a dazzling strategy. Hitler requested Kapoors that in their ritual this lunch must comprise only rice because anything made of wheat is just not auspicious for today. All Kapoors gave murky looks but what anyone can say against the rituals in India the plot worked and Natrajans just had a narrow escape from what could have been a gruesome incident. Kapoors somehow accomplished the meal and went for a stroll without any delay; understandably; to have actual lunch minus any rituals

The day was concluded and all the guests were gone, it was mounting darkness and soon a roller-coaster journey which lasted a day was finished. I and Deeps were sitting and chatting on the stairs of the community hall where we just got married for the first time. Hitler came and objected that we weren’t still married and hence we are not supposed to be meeting and nattering like this. I made a request Hitler just 2 minutes to have a conversation with my half wife which she approved with an obnoxious stare.

“Congratulations”, exhausted Deeps could not believe that the wedding was through

“Yes, same to you too, barrier 1 of 2 is over, get ready for part 2”, I winked at her

Hitler called Deeps and this time she had to go, I too got up and went to my room. All Kapoors were enthusiastically stuffing their belongings to catch an early morning flight back to Jaipur. I took a deep breath and began pulling my stuff together, after 20 minutes when I was done I just wanted to doze off to the bed. I recollected the entire day and there was a grin on my face, a smile of triumph. I shut my eyes and I went astray in the world of profound siesta.

Chapter 29: The Wedding Card

 

Chapter 28 – North vs South

It was a distinct juncture for me because in previous 6 years this was merely the 2^nd time my parents planned a trip to Bangalore. The first time was when they came to unload me. After everything it looked like that finally we will have what me and Deeps craved for. It was agreed that my parents (Kapoors) will go to Deep’s house and will meet the girl. That means they have silently agreed for the wedding but now it all rests on how Kapoors and Natrajans get along in this whole development.

We in a little while grasped that we have the gravest situation among us related to Kapoor’s visit of Natrajans. The frightening question was what to cook for Kapoors when they visit Natrajans ? Mr. Kapoor barely enjoys anything apart from Pakodas and sweets. More than Deeps I was anxious because Natrajans might get snubbed because of this. Moreover, it might never occur to Mr. Kapoor that it is the question of his son’s wedding.

“Should we prepare Chapati and Sabzi ?”, Deeps submitted the safest selection

“The safest route would be something deep-fried”, I said

“But my mom wishes to cook south Indian food because she is good in it, not in north Indian cuisine”, she said

“I understand but what is the use if he won’t even touch it ?”, I responded

“Look, if someone comes to your house, what do you offer ? Will you prepare what they eat specifically of will you cook the best of you ?”

The argument had a weight to it and my mother also agreed to it, both of us assumed that even if he does not like it he will eat it considering the criticality of the situation. So I made a suicidal judgment and permitted “Rava Idli”, which Deep’s mom is skilled in.

The judgment day arrived and Natrajans invited Kapoors for breakfast. We arrived on time. Natrajans welcomed us with open arms and with lots of respect. They were looking forward to have a delightful conversation. We seated down and I started to feel a little jumpy thinking of near future. Now It all depends on what my father thinks because if he decides NO, means it’s a NO. Deeps came and greeted my parents and in a while Natrajans began serving us the breakfast. As soon as Deeps served Idli to Mr. Kapoor I missed a heartbeat after seeing his reaction.

“Idli ? Is this Idli ?”, he asked Deeps twice

“Yes it is”, Deeps Replied

“I don’t eat Idli”, he replied plainly and gave Deeps back the plate without any additional thought

As anticipated he wasn’t thoughtful enough about the circumstances at all and this move made Deeps terrified. But straightaway her mom came for the rescue.

“Do you eat Masala Dosa ?”, Deep’s mother asked my father

“Yes I can have that thanks”, my father answered

When he said I was once again calmed but not for long because it struck to me that he will not even eat that. In north India Dosa is served with Sambhar and in south Indian Dosa is served just only with Chutney and icing on the cake is that Mr. Kapoor HATES chutney. Hence even if he will be served with Dosa, he will not eat it. And yet again he substantiated me accurately, when Deep’s mother served him the dosa, he looked at my mother and asked,

“How should I eat it, there is no Sambhar with it ?”

“Deeps do you have any Sambhar prepared ?”, I tried to salvage the situation

Deeps almost sobbed which made it clear that they don’t have any Sambhar. Seeing this Mr. Kapoor said its ok he will manage.

He will manage !!!! how ? Oh yes by not eating it J

And I was full on money because at the end when he left the plate the entire dosa was dissected but wasn’t eaten.

After breakfast it was time for Kapoors to talk to Deeps and after few rudimentary questions my mother asked Deeps a droll question,

“We live in Jaipur and it will be hot out there, how will you manage ?”

“We will put AC in each room”, she replied outspokenly, thank god she did not say that we will move you all to Bangalore.

They had a pleasant conversation, mostly between Deeps and my mother after which we left Natrajan palace in harmony. Since my dad did not eat anything we went to a north Indian restaurant. While eating he simply condemned the relation because the girl wasn’t gorgeous.

“I don’t know what you saw in her ? She is not that attractive”, he said

“I know but I am also no Shahrukh khan if you see carefully”,

I was just annoyed by the fact that he is still looking for tasteless justifications to pull me out of this.

That night he came to me and wished to talk further on this with Natrajans. I guess after thinking about the whole thing he was ok because I anyways indicated that if not now then later but Deeps is the one whom I will eventually marry. I gave this news to Deeps and we finalized a day for them to meet and talk further.

The day arrived and Natrajans came at around evening time with some customary gifts which must be given the first time girl’s parents visit the Guy’s house. My father asked both of us to disappear so that only they can talk money. Both of us went to the terrace and started speculating about the talks. Deeps unexpectedly started crying.

“What happened ?” I asked

She said “What if they don’t come to any consensus and say no to the wedding”

I reassured her and said whatever it is, if they won’t agree then we will try further but we will walk down the aisle only if they agree to this relation. She was ok after the reassurance and we continued talking about general things. After around 30 minutes my father called me up and asked us to come down. When we entered in the room the atmosphere appeared heated up because Deep’s mother was sitting with a depressed expression and her father looked agitated.

“We have not discussed anything yet because we could not go ahead of the very first topic”, my father said

“What is that ?”, I asked

“Where the wedding will take place ?”, he said without any expression

“We want it to be done in Jaipur because it’s first one in the house and they want to do it from Bangalore because it’s the only one in their house”, he shed light on the tricky situation

“Yes we knew that this point will come and I have a solution to it”, I said

“Whats that ?”, Mr. Natrajan asked curiously

“We will perform the whole wedding ceremony 2 times; both in Jaipur and Bangalore”, I offered the way out gently

“What are you talking about, it does not work like that”, my father was infuriated after listening to this

“Look you have been debating on this from last 1 hr and you do not have any other option then to get us married twice. Everyone will get what they want”, it was an honest bailout plan

“Ok then let us think on this and let’s talk after that”, Mr. Kapoor said

“Ok, then we would like to leave now”, Mr. Natrajan stood up to leave

I am not sure what else was spoken other than wedding location because Natrajans left the house in complete annoyance which wasn’t a noble sign. Later in the day Deeps and I spoke to each other and came to the inference that it will not work like this. We have to coordinate everything from now on. Natrajans must express only to Deeps and Deeps must convey the message to me and I should tell the news to the Kapoors. We decided to do this because both the families don’t understand each other’s language, both families appears to have some self-esteem issues and no one in both families is a decent negotiator. From that day onwards we started working according to the plan. I was talking to my parents and she was with her and we discussed each and every demand from either families and discussed them with the opposition. It looked like that things finally beginning to fall in place. Both the families were glad with the developments because all of them eventually were getting what they hunted for.

We were getting married two times, Natrajans asked my parents to pick the first spot of wedding; Bangalore or Jaipur, to which Mr. Kapoor bewilderingly agreed for Bangalore. Understandably because after wedding both of us must stay in Jaipur for some time and meet all the relatives.

Deeps called me and said that her parents want to discuss the wedding dates with Kapoors. I informed my parents that Natrajans will be calling you to settle the marriage dates. After few minutes Deeps called me,

“Congrats”

“What happened?”, I was scared because there was supposed to be a discussion between Natrajans and Kapoors

“We are getting married on 24^th Feb and then all over again on 1^st Match”

“Congrats to you too”, I took a lungful of air, I was never more relieved.

Chapter 27: The Unexpected

 

The feedback established by Deeps was not so good and not so bad. Natrajans had already decided that they will get her married to me but a grave question still lingering around in their mind was, how honest the guy and his background is ?

“I guess they will call me a couple of times and will question me to know me better”, I told Deeps

“May be, I don’t know”, she said sheepishly
I was pretty peaceful after talking to her parents and was convinced that things will go smooth from here on.

Shortly it was time for me to go to Jaipur and on this occasion it was Live free or Die hard. Since I had already spoken to her parents; it was time now to give my parents a shocker, my mom by now had an impression about it but dad wasn’t aware of it.

“I wanna talk to you”, I told my dad, I was nervous

“What ?”, he asked

“There is a girl called Deeps, she was with me in college, I want you to meet her”

“What is the necessity of all this ?”, he responded infuriated

“Why did you have to go that far to make a relation?”, he almost yelled at me

I kept quiet and paid attention to what he is saying for next 10 minutes. It was obvious that he had to display his rage because he is father and had to rubbish this conversation initially but none of his questions and reasons indicated that he is not rejecting it either J. Well, I did not try to argue further on this and allowed this thought to sink in him.

A week after I was back to Bangalore Deeps called me at 2 pm on a Sunday afternoon, which is a very odd because usually her parents are there in the house the entire day.

“Hi”, I said startlingly because I don’t anticipate calls from her on Sundays

“How are you able to call today ?”, I asked her

“My parents are not in town, they have gone to Chennai”, she said

We spoke for some time and just about the same time I was getting another call, it was my mom.

“I am gonna have to call you back, my mom is calling”, I told her

I hung up and I rang my mom,

“Hello”, My mother answered the call

“Hi Mom, tell me, you called ??”, I asked

“I have news for you”, she said it very melodramatically

“Yes, what is it ?”, anticipating no big deal from her.

“We had visitors today in our house”, her tone changed from histrionic to cryptic

“Ok, Sooooooo ?”, I also adjusted to her tone and asked carelessly

“Where are Deepti’s Parents ?”, she asked

“They have gone to Chennai …………. ohhhh shitttt”

It instantly transpired to me the well-conceived plot by Natrajans. Everything became translucent, the address she took from me, the excuse to go to Chennai. Everything started falling into place.

My mom recounted the complete incident,

My mother was sitting in the living room when she heard the door bell. She opened the door and found a couple of strangers. They introduced themselves as Deep’s parents. They did not want to warn me or my parents because by unexpected visit they just found out the real us or else we could have fabricated our appearance if we had known that they are coming. Deep’s mom did not talk, she just examined the house. She was terrified and concerned. All the talking was done by her father. My mother then called my father to come home and when he arrived, they surprisingly had a pleasant and smooth conversation. Deeps parents gave an account of the witty incident occurred with them at the railway station. From Railway station they called up my house and they asked for Anky. Startlingly Anky came on the line, it astonished them also because Anky was supposed to be in Bangalore. They told Anky that they are in Jaipur and wanted to know if my parents are at home or not. Anky on the other side asked Natrajans who are they and who is Deeps ?? I don’t know any Deeps. Listening to this Natrajans almost had an heart attack, after all this if Anky is saying that he does not know Deeps then what will happen ? After few seconds of argument they were positive that Anky has made fool out of them and their daughter. But they just wanted to confirm this and teach Anky a lesson; hence they carried on with the plan to go to his house. Later they discovered that it was a wrong number and the most bizarre coincidental thing was that even on that wrong number they found an Anky. How many Ankys are there in Jaipur ??

I was almost paralyzed after learning all this from my mother and now it was Deep’s turn to get some shockwave therapy. I am sure that she was more than stunned because when I told her this she could not speak and she was scared till death,

“What will happen now ?”, she asked while sobbing

“Nothing, they will be convinced and comfortable about me”, I relieved her

The following day Natrajans came back from Jaipur but did not talk to Deeps. They knew that she knows about their trip but they themselves did not want to conclude anything and did not want to give any thoughts to Deeps, hence they called me one more time.

“We went to your house”, Hitler said without any expressions

“Yes I spoke to my mother, she told me”

She then told all her experience in my house and they narrated the “Wrong number” episode. Hitler told how she liked the place, food and shopping. And finally they came to the earth-shattering question,

“So when can you get married to her ?”

I was taken aback by the unexpected question, but I dealt with it.

“As soon as I will complete 2 years in my current profession because I am not able to take care of myself; How will I look after your daughter ?”, I defended

“No no no that’s not possible, you both will have to get married within 3 months”, Hitler just did not want to listen anything

“If we will do it late then people will ask questions”, she said

“Ok tell people that we have got her engaged, they will stop asking questions”, I offered an honest resolution

“No no no, just talk to your dad and wrap it up”, she was ready to get me married in next 1 hour

I guess she still suspected my character and she was frightened that I will flee !! Why everyone judges me by my face !!! I look like thief but inside I am just a crook !! he he he

“What about further studies after marriage ?”, She asked

“Then who will feed your daughter ?”, the comeback which shunned any further likely debate

It was a reasonable progress but I wasn’t still certain of next step. I spoke to my mom and she persuaded my dad to come to Bangalore to talk and finalize things, to which surprisingly he agreed. They decided to come to Bangalore in next 4 months, both of us were very glad because the dream seen by us 15-16 chapters before was in fact would be turning into reality very soon and without any major obstacles or did we just presumed that little too soon ?

Chapter 26: The Trap

 

I soon started enjoying the bureaucrat work atmosphere because Joke Factory gave me loads of leisure time, time to relish the paid freedom. I was placed in that very office where Joke Factory had kept a television, perhaps the only great thing ever done to its employees. Initially I was waiting on a word from higher executives about my project allocation but sooner I realized that they have forgotten me !!! 1 month, 2 month and 3 months passed and my daily routine was,

# Come to office and Swipe in

# Go to library and check mails

# Go to cafeteria and have breakfast

# After breakfast go to the recreation room and watch Television all through the day

Official and the social life was going on pretty smooth until Deeps slapped me with a shocker,

“I have told my parents”, she said

“What !!” I almost vomited out the McVeggie burger was clinched on to

“Yes, from last few days they have been talking to people about my wedding, so I had to do something”

“What did you do ?”, I asked curiously

“They told me that a guy is coming tomorrow to see me”

“Ok, then what happened”, I was frightened to ask this question because she might have done Jhansi ki Rani

“I said no, for which my mom was very disappointed and she asked if I was seeing someone”

“Okkkkkk, what happened next ??”

“I said Yes”, she said candidly

And here goes my burger

The burger came soaring out of my mouth, out of the blue all the pleasure turned sore, her parents now know everything and if they are not tolerable about it then they might do something about it. She told me a number of times that her father has loads of contacts, which includes EVERY kind of person.

What if he gets livid ? He might send people to kidnap me or even beat me up !!

“Hey by the way, what does your father think about it”, I asked unnervingly

“He does not know yet”

“What do you think will happen when he will know about us ?”, I was all set for the abduction

“Nothing, he will scold me”, she said dejectedly

“What will happen to me, I mean will he hurt me ?”, I awkwardly posted the question

“Ha ha ha, hey he isn’t like that, you chicken, ha ha ha”, she could not stop laughing when she learnt what was I thinking

“So what now ?” I asked

“Nothing, you have to come to my house and meet them”, she said calmly

My heart sank, I could not think of anything else but me getting beaten up by some goons . I know that she affirmed that her father is not like that but I never said that these assailants will be sent by her father, they will be from Hitler

The day arrived when I was asked to meet her parents,

“Any final minute instructions ?”, I called Deeps and asked

“Just don’t be yourself and rest would be excellent”, she said unperturbedly

I was disgusted because I had to pretend, typically I act dim-witted and I am constantly sarcastic. Plus I was asked to cover my grey hair and put on decent formals. I hated nearly everything about the pre-requisites of the meeting but it had to be done.

I reached her house 10 minutes prior I was supposed to. Since I have been to her house before; it wasn’t intricate for me to locate it. I rang the bell and her father opened the door,

“Hello Sir”, He welcomed me with a immense delight

The reception felt that they already have made a decision that I will their son-in-law and they will just tell me how to handle the wealth they are going to give me, I mean us

I entered and the scene inside was breathtaking because the very picture of it took all my breath away. Deeps was sitting on a chair in a corner and at the centre Hitler sat with a notepad, she wore her emblematic atrocious gaze. It appeared as if it is going to be the most evil interview of my life because Hitler is all set to make an inventory of things based on which I will be thrown out of Deeps existence.

I tried an innocent and a terrified look, the plan was to receive fewer injuries from the brutality I was about to face in next hour.

“Deeps has told us about you and that’s why we wanted to meet you”, future father-in-law was thrilled

“What is your caste”, asked the cold Hitler, suppressing the relieve established by the previous question

“I don’t know ?”, I said,

In my house we never talked regarding caste. I knew I was Hindu but that wasn’t adequate because there are castes inside castes inside castes and EVERY SINGLE SOUL IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT.

“What ?”, Hitler went pale, it was as if I had told that I was already married !! With 2 kids !!

“I mean I am Baniya”, I handled the situation without any delay

“Ok”

Mother-in-law and Father-in-law argued something in Kannada which more or less was “His caste is okay, I have several business clients of the same social group and they are excellent people”.

I guess they chose Kannada to converse because I did not know the language, at least that’s what they thought

After a concise debate in the local lingo which I don’t understand; Hitler turned towards me and asked again

“Your parents sent you to study then why did you do this ?”, she again posed a delicate issue

“It wasn’t deliberate, it just happened”, I tried to dodge the question but she wasn’t convinced

“What about your parents, do they know about it ?”

“Not yet”

Hitler again conversed something in kannada with Deep’s father which was roughly meant “He has no balls to tell his parents, ask him when will he tell his father and see how he will chicken out”

“When will you tell your parents ?”, Father-in-law asked promptly

“If you agree to this relation then I will tell them the next time I will go to my home”, I perfectly played according to their plan, in fact I did not have balls to tell my father yet L

I started learning kannada from the day I landed here; not to make an impression on any girl but to survive well in an unfamiliar land. In 4 years I had managed to understand all but speaking is still a hitch. This effort in learning Kannada was getting paid off today because their plan was,

# They will pose complex questions in front of me

# My responses will be discussed in Kannada among them and since I am a north Indian; I don’t recognize the language + Deepti wasn’t permitted to speak

# Based on the planning they would aim to ambush me

Little did they know that I arrived fully equipped. For each question I had a lip smacking reply standing by for them because I always knew what they are expecting

Quickly the conversation was over and they asked me my house address, the Jaipur’s address. I hesitated,

“I just want to do a light background check for my satisfaction, I have many clients in Jaipur and I will request one of them to do a little enquiry”, Hitler said

I was okay with the justification and gave her my address. Few minutes later I was given some snacks after which I asked to disappear. It wasn’t that terrible, it could have been awful if I had not known Kannada