The Story

This is story is a series of fictional events about a north Indian guy and his south Indian journey. My aim here is to entertain you by narrating some interesting and hilarious incidents.

I have no intentions of making racial remarks or hurting anyone, if I may do so accidentally then I apologies.

P.S - Movie makers will be prosecuted if they make movie on this story without my permission :D

Note:- I have not read Chetan Bhagat's 2 States, mind it.

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Chapter 1: First Time

My parents always knew that their son will be an engineer like the movie “3 idiots”. Because of which I was always asked to pick subjects which I almost hated. But ultimately sooner or later it had to become a reality and I had to decide, I was given 3 preferences

1. Bangalore

2. Bangalore

3. Bangalore

The decision for me was easy. When I was packing my stuff I got a call from my ex-girlfriend, she wanted to meet me so that we can get back together. When I told her that I am heading to Bangalore for my engineering, she was taken aback. She asked me “Why on earth do you want to go that far” ? “Why do you want to go to the south of India” ? This announcement was a defining moment for me, it was then I realized that Bangalore was in south India!!! You will be thinking that I am joking, huh.. I wish I was. So I had to breakup with her yet again, we finished it mutually, we both understood the circumstances and said goodbyes, this is another tale which I will tell you some other time.

So we were off to Chennai, my parents thought it will be nice to go to Chennai first and then from there we will travel to Bangalore. In solitary journey they will cover the complete south India. I am for a second time not joking; they actually thought all of south India.

Well let me shed some light on one thing, as far as I have seen, entire north India just has one single lone representation of South India. I am not trying to be offensive and please pardon me if I upset someone accidentally, according to North India South Indian means,M2

  1. 1. They have the darkest possible complexion
  2. 2. They eat only rice and they don’t know what chapati is.
  3. 3. They eat on banana leaf as a substitute of proper plates
  4. 4. They put on only lungi and no pants
  5. 5. They don’t know Hindi

Yes these are very widespread fables or perceptive whatever you call it, established in north India. You know in fact it’s not their fault, when I first came down to south India and compared my same mental picture of a south Indian with an authentic south Indian then I apprehended that it’s all inaccuracy caused by our Hindi Movies and TV serials. The representation of a south Indian shown is in an around the same typical 5 points I just pointed out. I don’t understand why a south Indian in each Hindi movie sells Narial Pani !!! Have you observed that ?

Let me tell you one more fascinating fact that South Indians also have similar 5 points when it comes to portray a north Indian, again I must tell that this is my observation and not a fact :-)

1. Except Kerala, Karnataka, Tamilnadu everything else is north India, they 1236292250-drunkdon’t even consider Andhra Pradesh as south India. 

2. They are cunning, selfish, aggressive, and manipulative.

3. They don’t study

4. They have lots of money which they spend boozing

5. In Bihar you get killed if you take a walk on a road.

Not kidding again, I have 9 years of a concrete south Indian experience.

Well we lost track of my story, we got down at Chennai after 2 days of rock solid train ride. As soon as we got down a coolie came running and he said,

Coolie: “@@$$# $%%^& %@#@! @#$3 $%%”, took our luggage and started sprinting.


My father signalled us that he will take care of this while all of us started sprinting with the coolie,

Father to Coolie: “Ye Meenakshi hotel kaisa jaana” ?

This was abnormal I thought in my brain !!

Father again: “Ye auto kaha milta”

I was thinking in my small psyche, how in god’s name will he understand an imaginary dialect of Hindi when he may do not even understand Hindi at first place ??

But I guess it worked out, we took an auto and reached hotel in 45 mins and 80 rupees. To the hotel which was just behind the railway station. It was our first time in south India and this was just a start.


Ankit said...

Hello Hello Testing

Rajat said...

every thing looks good .. but y dawood abrahim picture.. whats the context

Shraddha said...

Hmmm, achha hai hillarious one :)I also want to have such good experience atleast once in life.

Waise yeh EX-GF kaun thi?? Koi aur bhi thi??

Indian said...

@Rajat :- The context of Dawood is that every south Indian who hates North Indian whom I have come across in my entire life feels that a north Indian is no less then Dawood

@Shraddha :- I had only 1, I married to 2nd one :-)

Prat said...

aage kya hua?


Indian said...

@Prat :- This is just a starting, story will continue

Guddu said...

I Heartily appreciate your effort to pen down truths (as in myths) prevailing Topographically in India :) .... and specially the HOT topic of N.Indian and S.Indian ...
and yes, i liked the third point the most " they spend all their money on Booze " and there is another one which was rumored about N.indians in our days was
"They all Ogle at Auntsss .. "

he he he ...

Thushma said...

Humorous one. :)I would like to share some instances, People from North India have some reservation against pronouncing Kannada. I have always heard it as "Kannad" , dont know if there's a difficulty in saying 'ah'after Kannad.Likewise they think in Kerala people speak Kerala and not Malayalam. Don't know if it's regional bias or their GK quotient is poor.

Thushma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Ye bihar ka refernce kisne diya ....

Ankit Agrawal said...

@Unknown - This world is filled with more stupid people then you think :-)