The Story

This is story is a series of fictional events about a north Indian guy and his south Indian journey. My aim here is to entertain you by narrating some interesting and hilarious incidents.

I have no intentions of making racial remarks or hurting anyone, if I may do so accidentally then I apologies.

P.S - Movie makers will be prosecuted if they make movie on this story without my permission :D

Note:- I have not read Chetan Bhagat's 2 States, mind it.

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Chapter 9: Ranjini Bar

There were only few good things which happened to us in engineering and in hostel . And each of those was at Somnahalli Gate. Somnahalli is a village where our college is located. Actually "Somna" to be very precise because "Halli" means village in kannada (Correct me if I am incorrect).

There were few shops, bakeries and mini-restaurants situated on the main kanakpura road. The same place where I used to call Telephone receiver PK and Deeps from. This place was around 1.5 km from hostel as I have previously revealed. Due to lack of every essential thing in hostel this place was the major hangout spot for every APSCE hostalite. The place was “lively”, “eventful” and “rocking in the night”.

# Lively because at any given time you could find almost whole hostel/College out here.

# Eventful because nearly every evening someone from the hostel would have beaten up someone from the village and next day that someone from the village would have beaten him back Sick to settle the score.

# Rocking at night because of its bar Beer mugwhere half of the hostel used to be present after 6 pm.

Top rated 5 things at Somnahalli Gate were,

5. STD/ISD booth - I am confident that it was the most helpful thing for the people to discuss study syllabus with their girlfriends.

4. Bakery - This bakery owned the STD booth. It was the only bakery in the vicinity and the only shop where you could get cigarettes.

3. Pakoda Angadi - A tiny shop where an elderly woman used to prepare all varieties of different pakodas and omelette.

2. Tea stall - People used to go to this tea shop A LOT around dusk, why?? Because landlord of the stall not used to be there at the shop in the evenings, as a substitute his daughter used to run the shop. She was the only "Female" inside the radius of 20 km. Raju was there but we are talking about females here. I am still not certain where this tea shop was. I heard lots about it but could never go there. Pal and DD were the 2 guys who for eternity had a dispute about who will prevail over Chai wali first!!! Unbelievable!!! Believe it!!! She was hostel’s own local Aishwarya Rai.

1. Ranjini bar - The finest thing that could ever happen to a hostel. Liquor within reach, what else a bachelor can ask for? Following sundown you could find roughly 50% of the hostel in the bar. I used to visit Ranjini bar regularly, from outside and not for liquor but for Gobhi Manchurian. I must admit that I have never eaten better gobhi Manchurian so far in 9 years!!!! I am not joking by any means.

But I have gone inside Ranjini bar, 3 times and every time I cursed the individual who took me in. One of those 3 times was when we were in 2nd sem. Me and Ghosh went to get Gobhi Manchurian. We were waiting for it to get prepared and unexpectedly someone screamed my name.

"Oye Anky"

I gazed around but it was very shady inside and I could not distinguish who was calling me out, so I ignored. In next 10 seconds a person appeared from the dark and held my hand, he spoke frantically,

"Abay sunai nahi deta kya", (Don’t you have the sense of hearing?)

It was At-sa, A Dementor from MCA

"Aray nahi Sir mujhe laga mere kaan baj rahe hai" (I thought I heard something else)

"Theek hai andar chal" (Ok Come inside)

He dragged me inside even if I disapproved of it. He asked Ghosh also to come in. Inside there was one more dementor, Rohit-sa. There were bottles lined up, they must have been drinking from a very long time, they looked pretty wasted too. At-sa asked me,

"Kya Khayega" (What will you eat)

"Aray kuch nahi sir bas hamara Gobhi Manchurian aane wala they" (Nothing, We are about to get the Gobhi Manchurian we ordered)

He said, "Dekh mai tera senior hu, tera bada bhai, bol" (I am your elder brother tell what do you want)

“Acha ek kaam kar at least ye Chicken lollipop kha le”, At-sa said while offering a Chicken lollipop portion to me (Eat this Chicken lollipop at least)

"Aray sir koi baat nahi bas, aap khaiye" (We don't want anything, you please carry on with it)

“Aray yaar mai nahi khaunga, Navratre chal rahe hai, ye sab to Rohit-sa kha rahe hai” (I will not eat because it’s sacred phase of time all through this fortnight, it was Rohit-sa who was eating all this)

He said this and put that chicken lollipop portion in his own mouth and started munching it with complete pleasure!!

I shouted in fright, “Aray sir kya kar rahe ho abhi aapne bola nahi khaunga aur abhi muh me daal liya !!!” (Just now you said that you will not eat it and now you are eating it!!)

“O teri” (Shit), and he puked it in front of us

I had to go and call the cleaner who cleaned up the mess. But after few moments At-sa was back in action again,

"Acha bol kya piyega" (Ok tell me what will you drink at least)

Before I could have a word, Ghosh who was anxious to seize the prospect to booze for free from a dementor said,

"Sir Ek Beer bottle"

Right away At-sa demanded, "Ek beer bottle lao yaha" (Get One beer bottle)

There was a vindictive smirk on Ghosh's face, I could see his facial expression turning into a fox's.

At-sa in completely uncontrollable body language said, "Dekho aaj ke baad jab bhi Sharaab peeni ho to mujhe bolna, aaj ke baad saari daaru tum logo ko mai pilaunga" (From now on whenever you crave for liquor just let me know, I will pay for your booze from now on)

Ghosh was nearly on top of the cloud no. 9. He could witness himself in a house where he is taking bath in bathtub overflowing Whisky, if you release shower it will spray Vodka.

A king size refrigerator packed simply with beer bottles and on other side At-sa is paying for all this and a tanker filled with Rum which is being poured in an enormous reservoir on the house roof, reservoir which is also known as Swimming pool.

Grin on Ghosh’s face was as good as on a kid’s face when he/she realizes that their birthday is impending and more then festivity they are looking ahead for all the presents.

“Par meri ek shart hai”, said At-sa. (But I have a condition)

Ghosh enthusiastically said, “Aray sir aap kuch bhi bolo sab manjoor hai kuch bhi” (Anything for you, just tell me)

At-sa, “Jab bhi, jaha bhi, jitni bhi mai bolunga tab tum dono ko mujhe daaru pilani padegi” (Whenever, Wherever and how much I ever I ask, you 2 will have to buy me the liquor)

A stunning spray of beer came out of Ghosh’s mouth, he choked and said, “What !!”

I griped Ghosh’s hand and our packaged Gobhi Manchurian and we fled from Ranjini bar. That was a narrow escape, who knows if it was At-sa in the bathtub of whisky and it was us who were paying for that reservoir of rum in place of At-sa in Ghosh’s delusion.

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