The Story

This is story is a series of fictional events about a north Indian guy and his south Indian journey. My aim here is to entertain you by narrating some interesting and hilarious incidents.

I have no intentions of making racial remarks or hurting anyone, if I may do so accidentally then I apologies.

P.S - Movie makers will be prosecuted if they make movie on this story without my permission :D

Note:- I have not read Chetan Bhagat's 2 States, mind it.

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Chapter 24: Joke Factory, Here I come

There was a murmur in the college that it’s time when numerous IT companies will enter the college campus and will hire lots of us. I was thrilled but I was also worried concerning my solitary failed outcome in the lab exam might avert me of getting into any profession because almost all companies have criterion of overall 60% above marks scored without any failure.

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The same was recited by our placement officer too; after listening to which I was slightly discouraged because I needed to bank this opportunity if I wanted to get married. Well I did not give up and made up my mind that if this is what written in my fate then so be it. I braced myself for off-campus which might start for most of us after the conclusion of the college.

But then there was this fresh update all over the college; people must not have any standing failed paper, if you have passed your botched subject then you are good to go Thumbs up,

Niceeeeeee Be right back

I was back in pursuit again because I failed in 5th semester and appeared for the re-exam in 6th semester; results were out last week online and I not only scored excellent grades in the current semester but also performed terrifically in the re-exam,

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I was all geared up because for me this was my only chance where I had to prove myself and lots of other people that I am not kidding Green with envy

The first round written test was conducted in a different college. At around 12:30 pm, we were given the 1st round question papers which incorporated NO –ve marking. The paper consists of 60 questions and before attempting any of them I just memorized 2 rudiments,

1. Don’t attempt all the questions even if there is no negative marking

2. Try harder/time consuming questions first when there is not negative marking because these questions hold higher value.

I precisely chased these 2 set of laws and attempted mere 35 questions out of 60 which included each protracted question. When I came out people were happy that the test did not have any negative marking and hence each person responded to all 60 questions without fail. I felt that I have screwed all my odds of getting my destiny to relish the painless path. The results were to be declared at around 4:30 but I was standing like a fool who screwed up again because I thought I was over smart.

“Come on lets go, I know I will not get through the written test”, I told Deeps

“No let’s wait for the results”, she insisted on staying back, she still had hope.

I tried 5-6 more time to sway her to go back but she was immovable. I wanted to go back because I did not want anyone’s pity if my name was not declared but I guess I had to bow down in front of Deep’s wish.

Placement officer informed that as many as 64 people have been chosen out of 130 people who appeared in the written test, by now I was definite that I am not in the listings. Placement officer started reading out names from the list of 64 fortunate people and as expected my name was nowhere to be there and the list was almost at its climax but then towards the very end; among last 3-4 names; something sounded very familiar, “Anky”,

yes yes yes Rolling on the floor laughing

“See I told you that you will be picked”, Deeps was cheered up Flirt female

Now it was time for me to outdo the next obstacle which was “The Interview”, we were given 3 days to get ready. The day arrived pretty soon and we yet again had to go to a different college. After waiting for round about 5-6 hrs it was our college’s student’s turn to show in front of the interviewers. I was number 8 to go in for the first round; there were 3 interviewers who were conducting for us, one lady and 2 males. The guys were cool but the lady had already interviewed 3 guys from our college and discarded them at once and I was her next victim,

“Tell me about you”, she asked a very regular 1st interview question

I spoke for 5-10 minutes until she said stop and asked,

“Do you know C++”, she asked

“Yes”

“How much would you rate yourself in C++ on scale of 1-10 ?”

“10”, I replied within a nano-second and without even blinking my eyes, I was excellent at C++ but again my over smartness crushed my sanity and after the reply I was pretty sure that she will screw me up till I weep.

“So you know all in C++ ?”, she was stunned

“Yes”, I supported my response because the damage was already done

“Ok, why your 10th marks are less then your 12th marks which usually is reverse for everyone else ?”

What !!!! She has let me get away for that C++ blunder !!!!

“I never used to study till 10th standard and after the unpleasant outcome of 10th standard my parents started thrashing me up and because of that I faired pretty well in 12th standard”, I replied comically and grinned Smile with tongue out

The lady evaluator who looked very serious till now also smiled after listening to my account which relived all pressure on me.

“I m done with your interview, please show me all your marks sheets”

I could not believe, I was through with my technical round without even being asked a solitary technical question !!! I gave all my marks cards to her. She inspected all and found a problem,

“You failed one exam and I don’t see any report card which says that you passed it”

“It’s because the results are just out on internet and report cards will take another 3-4 weeks”

“Oh, in that case I cannot give you HR Form”, she smirked Angry smile

“But I have cleared that assessment”, I responded weakly Embarrassed smile

She took one HR form and wrote my name on it and kept next to her and said

“This is your HR form, substantiate that you cleared this exam and take the HR form and go”

Now if you can visualize, my circumstances were altogether screwed up. I without wasting anytime went to my placement officer who had carried the photocopies of all the results with him.

“Sir I need 5th Sem results”, I asked panting

He straightaway started looking into a roll of 10-15 Xeroxed sheets but quickly I and he apprehended that the placement officer was piece of shit of the uppermost kind because since we were in 6th sem he got only 6th sem marks !!! It never occurred to that son of a bitch Just kidding that people might get botched in semesters prior to 6th sem too !!! Well I never imagined that my day would be like this, I ran and came out of the college and was hunting for a cyber café desperately, so that I can at least get a printout of my purity. I logged into the VTU website and wolla !!! Results were not there any longer !!! Results are available only for 2 weeks and we were already into the third week. At that instant I could visualize myself competing in off-campus with hundreds of people again Sad smile. But I still hadn’t lost any hope, I conceived a strategy, I went straight to the interviewer who took my interview and I told her that there is no way I can ascertain until tomorrow unless its ok if our placement officer gives your company a written application declaring that this person has cleared all his exams and can be handed over his HR form !!!

Well my luck finally clunked and she said “OK”.

I was again galloping across the hallway and in 5 minutes I was filling out the HR form.

It was already 9 pm when people started getting calls for HR discussions and beginning to come out inside 2 minutes !!

That’s weird, because till today what I have heard is that HR rounds are lengthiest !!

“Anky !!”, a lady yelled

I upstretched my hand,

This is it Nerd smile

I was directed to a HR who just looked to be a young teenager Princess who has just come of her college. She asked me to be seated and asked me to speak something about me. I over again babbled the pre-set speech for the 2nd time which she asked me to rest after 3-4 minutes,

“What is you strength ?” she asked with a grave look

“Confidence”, I replied confidently

“What is your weakest point ?”, she threw another delicate question on my face

“Over-confidence”, I retorted without blinking my eyes

After eavesdropping to my reply her face went foulest Alien and she asked me to enlighten and I described that I know C++ splendidly and I am swollen with pride of it and in technical round I rated myself 10 when asked, that was the overconfidence but I was fortunate to get away with that.

May be it was my “Confidence” which she liked because HR absolutely bought it.

“Ok, Let’s have a discussion about IT industry”, she asked me

WTF !!! Surprised smile

What is IT industry ?? How the hell a 6th semester college undergraduate will have any idea about IT business !! College students don’t even know their syllabus correctly, how are they supposed to know that. But according to my exploration on interviews; interviewer is not at all times looking for a truthful response, they are looking for the composure and buoyancy and you should certainly not think a lot to act in response to their question.

So I went forward right away, “We know that IT industry is creating a revolution around the globe today and Joke Factory is one of that companies which known to be the finest”

HR’s face went from disgust to hatred Devil which I duly noted and determined not to discontinue and carry on because if I stop at this moment and allowed her to speak then I am a dead man. So I was nonstop talking about Joke Factory, I boasted each award Joke Factory has ever won and each recognition they have ever got, I knew all this because that was an vital part of the preparation, to be acquainted with your company !!! I did not stop until she asked me to and asked me if I am prepared to move to Chennai or Hyderabad ?

“No”, I said

“What !!! Are you not ready to work in Bangalore ?”, she snubbed

“Yes I am !!!”, I replied in astonishment because that’s not what I heard

“Are you positive that you are in your senses ??”, she nearly affronted me

“Sorry ma’am, I would like to join in Bangalore only”, I tried to refurbish the damage

“Ok Go”, she asked me to leave

I was disconsolate because final few seconds appeared to be a yet another blunder and in some way I may have upset her. I met Ghosh who also had a similar coincidence and was in grief. We both were extremely confident that we will not get through but on the other hand Guabha, Chaubey and Bhatti were making merry that they will get picked for sure.

It was result moment, they started announcing the name of the selected aspirants, and they began with,

“Anky”

“Ghosh”

We could not believe our ears and some others also could not, we were the people who were least positive on our performances and we were the foremost people to get picked !!! It was just beyond explanation, it was magical. Only 24 out of 64 were singled out and I was among those 24 and none of Guabha, Chaubey and Bhatti was chosen.

I without more ado called my parents and informed them about the excellent news and they highly praised my accomplishment. Then I called Deeps,

I said, “Hello”

She said, “Congrats”

How the hell she gets all news beforehand !!!

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