The Story

This is story is a series of fictional events about a north Indian guy and his south Indian journey. My aim here is to entertain you by narrating some interesting and hilarious incidents.

I have no intentions of making racial remarks or hurting anyone, if I may do so accidentally then I apologies.

P.S - Movie makers will be prosecuted if they make movie on this story without my permission :D

Note:- I have not read Chetan Bhagat's 2 States, mind it.

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Chapter 26: The Trap

 

I soon started enjoying the bureaucrat work atmosphere because Joke Factory gave me loads of leisure time, time to relish the paid freedom. I was placed in that very office where Joke Factory had kept a television, perhaps the only great thing ever done to its employees. Initially I was waiting on a word from higher executives about my project allocation but sooner I realized that they have forgotten me !!! 1 month, 2 month and 3 months passed and my daily routine was,

# Come to office and Swipe in

# Go to library and check mails

# Go to cafeteria and have breakfast

# After breakfast go to the recreation room and watch Television all through the day

Official and the social life was going on pretty smooth until Deeps slapped me with a shocker,

“I have told my parents”, she said

“What !!” I almost vomited out the McVeggie burger was clinched on to

“Yes, from last few days they have been talking to people about my wedding, so I had to do something”

“What did you do ?”, I asked curiously

“They told me that a guy is coming tomorrow to see me”

“Ok, then what happened”, I was frightened to ask this question because she might have done Jhansi ki Rani

“I said no, for which my mom was very disappointed and she asked if I was seeing someone”

“Okkkkkk, what happened next ??”

“I said Yes”, she said candidly

And here goes my burger

The burger came soaring out of my mouth, out of the blue all the pleasure turned sore, her parents now know everything and if they are not tolerable about it then they might do something about it. She told me a number of times that her father has loads of contacts, which includes EVERY kind of person.

What if he gets livid ? He might send people to kidnap me or even beat me up !!

“Hey by the way, what does your father think about it”, I asked unnervingly

“He does not know yet”

“What do you think will happen when he will know about us ?”, I was all set for the abduction

“Nothing, he will scold me”, she said dejectedly

“What will happen to me, I mean will he hurt me ?”, I awkwardly posted the question

“Ha ha ha, hey he isn’t like that, you chicken, ha ha ha”, she could not stop laughing when she learnt what was I thinking

“So what now ?” I asked

“Nothing, you have to come to my house and meet them”, she said calmly

My heart sank, I could not think of anything else but me getting beaten up by some goons Ninja. I know that she affirmed that her father is not like that but I never said that these assailants will be sent by her father, they will be from Hitler Embarrassed smile

The day arrived when I was asked to meet her parents,

“Any final minute instructions ?”, I called Deeps and asked

“Just don’t be yourself and rest would be excellent”, she said unperturbedly

I was disgusted because I had to pretend, typically I act dim-witted and I am constantly sarcastic. Plus I was asked to cover my grey hair and put on decent formals. I hated nearly everything about the pre-requisites of the meeting but it had to be done.

I reached her house 10 minutes prior I was supposed to. Since I have been to her house before; it wasn’t intricate for me to locate it. I rang the bell and her father opened the door,

“Hello Sir”, He welcomed me with a immense delight

The reception felt that they already have made a decision that I will their son-in-law and they will just tell me how to handle the wealth they are going to give me, I mean us Open-mouthed smile

I entered and the scene inside was breathtaking because the very picture of it took all my breath away. Deeps was sitting on a chair in a corner and at the centre Hitler sat with a notepad, she wore her emblematic atrocious gaze. It appeared as if it is going to be the most evil interview of my life because Hitler is all set to make an inventory of things based on which I will be thrown out of Deeps existence.

I tried an innocent and a terrified look, the plan was to receive fewer injuries from the brutality I was about to face in next hour.

puss

“Deeps has told us about you and that’s why we wanted to meet you”, future father-in-law was thrilled

“What is your caste”, asked the cold Hitler, suppressing the relieve established by the previous question

“I don’t know ?”, I said,

In my house we never talked regarding caste. I knew I was Hindu but that wasn’t adequate because there are castes inside castes inside castes and EVERY SINGLE SOUL IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT.

“What ?”, Hitler went pale, it was as if I had told that I was already married !! With 2 kids !!

“I mean I am Baniya”, I handled the situation without any delay

“Ok”

Mother-in-law and Father-in-law argued something in Kannada which more or less was “His caste is okay, I have several business clients of the same social group and they are excellent people”.

I guess they chose Kannada to converse because I did not know the language, at least that’s what they thought Winking smile

After a concise debate in the local lingo which I don’t understand; Hitler turned towards me and asked again

“Your parents sent you to study then why did you do this ?”, she again posed a delicate issue

“It wasn’t deliberate, it just happened”, I tried to dodge the question but she wasn’t convinced

“What about your parents, do they know about it ?”

“Not yet”

Hitler again conversed something in kannada with Deep’s father which was roughly meant “He has no balls to tell his parents, ask him when will he tell his father and see how he will chicken out”

“When will you tell your parents ?”, Father-in-law asked promptly

“If you agree to this relation then I will tell them the next time I will go to my home”, I perfectly played according to their plan, in fact I did not have balls to tell my father yet L

I started learning kannada from the day I landed here; not to make an impression on any girl but to survive well in an unfamiliar land. In 4 years I had managed to understand all but speaking is still a hitch. This effort in learning Kannada was getting paid off today because their plan was,

# They will pose complex questions in front of me

# My responses will be discussed in Kannada among them and since I am a north Indian; I don’t recognize the language + Deepti wasn’t permitted to speak

# Based on the planning they would aim to ambush me

Little did they know that I arrived fully equipped. For each question I had a lip smacking reply standing by for them because I always knew what they are expecting Hot smile

Quickly the conversation was over and they asked me my house address, the Jaipur’s address. I hesitated,

“I just want to do a light background check for my satisfaction, I have many clients in Jaipur and I will request one of them to do a little enquiry”, Hitler said

I was okay with the justification and gave her my address. Few minutes later I was given some snacks after which I asked to disappear. It wasn’t that terrible, it could have been awful if I had not known Kannada Winking smile

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