Chapter 11: We lost Cricket World cup finals, Damn it.

Third Semester started with a breaking news that Patti who was a day scholar till now have decided to move into the hostel . This was great news because now the back bench group could always be together in the hostel. Patti entered in the hostel with bursting enthusiasm. Patti was greeted in the hostel with ostentatious celebration.

Ummm not this majestic but we had an arrangement for him . All of us in the hostel had gone through extensive amount of agonizing ragging, thanks to the dementors like Chu Chu, Acharya and Dhar. They made us STRONG. Yes strong, we strongly hated them and we could not digest that someone tries to skip that and get into the hostel when all is ended. Anyways when he entered inside the hostel all dementors called him and took his introduction and assigned him a job to memorize the names of all the dementors. He was given me, Arnold and Mahajan to assist him with the names. He was unquestionably in excellent hands . We gave him all the accurate names apart from one. We told him that the name of one important dementor is Chaman (Means stupid). He wasn’t very sure because he sensed something was fishy but because he was new, he had to abide by what we say, so he committed the name to his memory.

Have you ever come across the situation when you took a tough method to face the trouble and your co-worker took a shortcut to face the same problem without any pain? And later He/She laughs on your face proving that you were a looser, look at me I accomplished the same with no dilemma. I am talking about the pleasure when their shortcut bites them in their ass . It was pleasurable to see Dementors molesting Patti just because of Chaman.

Cricket fever was going on because cricket world cup was happening and the exhilaration was there because India made it to the finals. The opponent was 2 time world cup victors Australia. But we were self-assured that India will come out clean and will overpower Australia to lift the cup . The match could only be watched at the hostel recreation room where a television set was kept. This television set showed only solitary channel, Doordarshan. It was ok until and unless match is on it. The recreation room was jam packed and those who did not get seats were standing and watching the game.

         Match began with a balanced Australia Batting. Srinath came to bowl 7th over and got hit for 16 runs, straight away people started relating themselves with his mother and sisters but this was just a start. India went on yielding easy runs and Australia kept on scoring until in 13th over Harbhajan claimed Gilchrist’s wicket. As Doordarshan showed Gilchrist walking back to pavilion, people in the hostel recreation room in fact started spitting on the television and showed Gilchrist their middle finger. Anyways then came the captain Ponting and rest became history, later in that complete Australian innings we heard things like,

Rest of the hostel to Bhutani (He is from Delhi), “Saale Nehra ko ghar pe baitha ke pakode banwa usse, bowling uske bas ki baat nahi hai” (Ask Nehra to cook pakodas n the house, he can’t bowl for nuts)

Rest of the hostel to Arnold and other kannadigas on each occasion when Srinath was hit for a boundary and he was hit A LOT, “Abay Srinath to spinner hai fir ye fast bowling karane ki koshish kyo kar raha hai, samjha na usko kannada me” (Why Srinath is trying to bowl fast, isn’t he a spinner ?? Go make him understand this in kannada)

Rest of the hostel to Shah (He is from Gujrat), “Ye Zaheer khan ko paisa de ke national team me bharti karwaye ho kya ??” (Have you guys bribed Indian cricket selection board to take Zaheer Khan ?)

Complete hostel to Ponting on his each boundary, I truly can’t write what all Ponting had to hear that day but think of this that on his each boundary he was gaining plenty of relatives from our hostel, particularly son-in-laws and fathers because weirdly that day each person was after his daughter and his mother !!!

But that was not it, people were still upbeat that even after posing a mammoth total Indian batsmen can still retaliate. Indian innings instigated with the plunge of Sachin Tendulkar in very first over. Abruptly there was a rampage in the recreation room, half the crowd instead of cursing Tendulkar and Mcgrath, cursed Tendulkar and Mcgrath’s mothers for no reason and left the scene. After a short time it looked like India is fighting back. People who were still expectant were motionless and people who left after Sachin’s wicket came back when they heard that India is recovering. But sooner it was evident that this is no contest, it’s just a one sided match .

As soon as last Indian wicket was chopped down each hostelite went wild , they broke all the stools and they tore out all the posters in the activity room. Some even tried assaulting the television but warden came for its rescue and little did he know that if not TV then it will be him, in fury crowd gave him respectable thrashings. All came to know about that when warden was frantically looking for the wrongdoers with a left black-and-blue eye and a puffed-up right cheek .

Well he did not get anyone because he could not recognize anyone that day but he kept looking for the grounds and circumstances to confront any of the hostelite. Atlast he got that opportunity, me, Arnold, Mahajan and Ghosh regularly fantasise about the wonderful coconuts on the coconut estate next to our college and one bright evening we decided to catch flavour of some. We made 2 teams of 2, me and Ghosh, Arnold and Mahajan. We entered into the estate and went in 2 separate directions and contracted to notify each other if someone comes by. The goal was to gather as many coconuts as possible and get out of there in no time, then relish them back inside the hostel the entire late afternoon. We arrived at our first stop where these 6 incredible green coconuts were inviting us like Smriti Virani used to invite inside her house in Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi start off credits. 1 and 2 and 3, we picked 3 stunning coconuts. All of a sudden I heard a grave noise “THUD” and next moment I could sense a blinding pain on my left butt. The caretaker of the estate was standing right behind me and he caught us red handed, he spanked me with a long stick. Ghosh blocked him before he could give me any more blows. I was thinking what the hell, why didn’t they alert us!!! The caretaker was busy in shouting on us but me and Ghosh eye witnessed something extraordinary, I have seen Usain Bolt running and I have also seen Vampires run with a speed of light in English movies but I undoubtedly remember that, that day Arnold and Mahajan did not even come for our rescue but they ran, they ran for their existence . Even if there was a vampire there that day, that also could not have beaten them. Both of them were like “Jesse Mach” (The rider of Street Hawk), the only difference was that they needed no street hawk.

Chapter 7: The first encounter with Hitler

It was an intense sunny day along with Sam’s happy birthday . The plan was to meet the girls (PK and Deeps) at Jayanagar and from there to ISKON temple , I know it’s a pretty exciting to go out with girls on your birthday to a temple but as we know that our Sam was like Maggie tomato ketchup, “It’s different” .

Both of us arrived at the meeting point and started killing time until both the girls turn up. Finally when it was already too late and both of us started to get pissed off, Sam got a call .

It was PK on the line, “Hi, it’s me”

Sam, “What the Heck”,

He was about to yell on her but then we noticed that PK was crying. He was shaken a bit.

Sam asked, “What happened”

PK recited the unpleasant incident,

“We were coming to meet you on Deep’s two-wheeler”, sobbing viciously .

“On a turn Deeps turned without indicating (She used to love this) and there was car approaching from the opposite direction”

“It knocked us down but nothing serious, Deeps is slightly hurt ”

“Ok, but where are you guys and if nothing serious why the hell are you still weeping ?”

She clarified, “The car owner is impolite and shameful, he wants Deeps to be handed over to the police”

“WTF ?? Let’s go”, we rushed.

We arrived at the crime scene and as it was elucidated by PK, the car owner was still shouting on Deeps. I quickly went towards him and tried to talk him down but then I discovered that he has already called the police. Deeps was sobbing and her elbow was bruised, it was bleeding. With-in a split second a police jeep appeared. Inspector asked us sit in the jeep. We all were sitting together. Car owner and his family opposite to us. I think Car owner and his wife got a bakra after a very long time because the way they were screaming was as though Deeps single handedly smashed the car with her two-wheeler but the car was unharmed, not even a scuff. I assumed that they did not have any other plans for the day so they thought of getting some amusement out of this .

We reached Jayanagar Police station where Deep’s destiny had to be determined. It was my maiden police station entry. As we entered we heard,

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

Few policemen were beating up this guy within the chamber. All dreadful thoughts started creeping up in the mind,

‘What will happen if Deeps goes to Jail’

‘What if she is sentenced for 2-3 years’

‘How would she look like ?’

 

Car owner was still shouting and Deeps still had tears in her eyes. Shortly a decent looking police inspector appeared . He heard the case and said,

“$%^$%^$%^& #$%#%$#$% ^&^%&*^&*^” .

I don’t know what he said but when he finished, the Car Owner appeared pleased and Deeps had gone worsen , so we deduced that Inspector has decided to support the car owner. Soon after Deeps enlightened that she needs to pay 1000/- penalty because she scratched the car. None of us had any cash and Deep’s parents were out of reach. Now when they learned that she does not have any money they starting pressurizing her further, they started bullying her that she will be put in jail. We called PK’s brother, he came like a knight in shining armour for us. Since he also did not have any currency, he submitted his credit card. The Car owner was still not pleased, he was looking for more blood .

Deeps now had enough, she called her uncle and told him the complete story. His Uncle got in touch with few people and within an hour the police station received a phone call from a politician and in India if politician makes a call from your behalf then you are a Superman. We came out of the station contentedly. The program was already busted. But to show a gesture of gratitude, Deeps invited us to her house.

Hitler was the most evil and cruel dictator ever known to mankind. Deeps always talked about her parents and especially about her mother, the episodes she told us and illustration of how strict she is with her made me have her representation of Hitler in my mind. I used to call her Hitler till I tied the knot with my wife but after that I recognized that she is an adorable Hitler and in day today world lovable Hitler has a official name, “Mother-in-law”.

It was slight strange to sit in her house knowing that it could turn out to be a big concern but then we thought, if no ISKON then at least might get some home cooked food. Finally Deep’s mom arrived after 2-3 hours. As she entered into the house she looked both of us and we looked her, no talking just staring, she staring us and we staring her, no words. Now let me give details of her glance to us, it was the look when you see something gruesome , as if she has seen 2 thieves , waiting for her to return so that we can inquire where the locker is !! First encounter with Hitler was not so great but wasn’t even bad .

She called out to Deeps. Deeps came and gave details of the entire event. I was little comforted because I was not in mood to go to the police station for a second time. And as predictable she cooked meal for us which was incredible. We had a little chat and then we left.

After few days from that unpleasant incident Deeps told me that her mother thinks that I and Deeps have a linkup. I laughed my guts out.

“That’s the funniest thing I have ever heard”

“Noooooo, she thinks that we are going around”

By 2nd semester the sitting display in our classroom became tad distinctive. There was 7 rows of Guys on the left, there was 6 rows of girls on the right side and 7th row of 4 of us, Me, Patti, Mahajan and Arnold. We were 7th row because our group girls were the back benchers of girls. So that used to make our group of 7 to sit as one.

One morning after the first lecture Deeps turned back and said, “I have a request”

“Shoot”, I said.

“Today my mother is visiting the college and she will come to the classroom too”

Before she could carry on I said, “And since your mother thinks we are going around I should not be sitting behind you, correct ?”

“Correct”, she confessed.

I wasn’t very glad with the request but then I did not have any other preferences but I also did not want to sit down anywhere else so all 4 of us bunked the lecture and her mother never came to the classroom.